Its 5:36 in the morning and I’ve finally gotten around to writing another one of my meaningless meaningful thoughts. As most of you already know Im a single guy. Life as a single guy is very simple and straight forward bogged down only by the drama of work and the friends he hangs out with. The past couple weeks have been very interesting for me and as such my thoughts have been contemplating on this subject.
So my question to all of you readers is simple and yet one of the greatest mysteries of life. What is love? the short answer is that it is an immense feeling of purpose and belonging to a person or thing. Before we go further into the meaning and definition of love let me tell you why I am asking this and a few questions pertaining to this very subject of love.
At the age of 12 a great incident took place in my life that caused me to examine myself for the first time and give myself a stern personality makeover. What I did was beat my brother half to death. So much so that he was hospitalized for a couple weeks so that his bones could be repaired. It is safe to assume that I had anger management issues. I guess I get that from my dad’s side of the family. But I dont buy into that. Where it may be true that there are certain impulses that run in certain families and dare not subject myself to the notion that one cannot control onself. After all we are the human race and we did not make it to the top of the food chain by being cumpulsive. No. We are more rational than that.
One would expect that my parents would have beat the living hell out of me and/or disowned me after that. Alas such was not the case. My mother sat me down shortly after and spoke to me very softly but seriously. She spoke to me as a mother with love and affection for her child and I paid attention. It was one of the few words of wisdom she told me or steered me to that I have thus constructed my life to revolve around. She told me if I understood what I had done to my brother. I replied yes. And then she said a simple self reflecting question. A thought provoking conundrum if you will. She asked me simply “Can you imagine if that was your son in there and due to your anger he ended up in a hospital because of you?” After that day I have not had an episode where I have lost control of my anger to that extent.
How did I manage to do that you may ask. Well the short answer is that I employed the philosophy of mind over matter. When surges of emotions overpower you, the mind is rarely able to make sound decisions. One of my biggest flaws was anger and thus I had to gain control over it fast. So I started observing myself and quantifying myself and my behaviour. This lead to me laughing at certain things in life that previously would make me furious towards others.
As you are reading this you might be thinking well what does my anger have to do with the question what is love? The thing is ever since the age of 12 I have been observing myself and also others. Quantifying emotions to the point that they can be represented as concious decisions and rational. one may see that as a positive thing. It is a great way to gain control over one’s life but the down side is just as costly. One cannot connect on an emotional level with people. So for those of you who are in loving and working relationships try your hands at this. What is love? How do you define love? Is love just an emotion or feeling? if so then how is love just enough for you? People say that when you love someone you love them unconditionally. How do you fall in love to that extent with someone? I understand that these are hard questions and honestly I dont expect many or any replies but if you are so bold or you have an answer for me Ill be happy to read them.