Its 5:36 in the morning and I’ve finally gotten around to writing another one of my meaningless meaningful thoughts. As most of you already know Im a single guy. Life as a single guy is very simple and straight forward bogged down only by the drama of work and the friends he hangs out with. The past couple weeks have been very interesting for me and as such my thoughts have been contemplating on this subject.
So my question to all of you readers is simple and yet one of the greatest mysteries of life. What is love? the short answer is that it is an immense feeling of purpose and belonging to a person or thing. Before we go further into the meaning and definition of love let me tell you why I am asking this and a few questions pertaining to this very subject of love.
At the age of 12 a great incident took place in my life that caused me to examine myself for the first time and give myself a stern personality makeover. What I did was beat my brother half to death. So much so that he was hospitalized for a couple weeks so that his bones could be repaired. It is safe to assume that I had anger management issues. I guess I get that from my dad’s side of the family. But I dont buy into that. Where it may be true that there are certain impulses that run in certain families and dare not subject myself to the notion that one cannot control onself. After all we are the human race and we did not make it to the top of the food chain by being cumpulsive. No. We are more rational than that.
One would expect that my parents would have beat the living hell out of me and/or disowned me after that. Alas such was not the case. My mother sat me down shortly after and spoke to me very softly but seriously. She spoke to me as a mother with love and affection for her child and I paid attention. It was one of the few words of wisdom she told me or steered me to that I have thus constructed my life to revolve around. She told me if I understood what I had done to my brother. I replied yes. And then she said a simple self reflecting question. A thought provoking conundrum if you will. She asked me simply “Can you imagine if that was your son in there and due to your anger he ended up in a hospital because of you?” After that day I have not had an episode where I have lost control of my anger to that extent.
How did I manage to do that you may ask. Well the short answer is that I employed the philosophy of mind over matter. When surges of emotions overpower you, the mind is rarely able to make sound decisions. One of my biggest flaws was anger and thus I had to gain control over it fast. So I started observing myself and quantifying myself and my behaviour. This lead to me laughing at certain things in life that previously would make me furious towards others.
As you are reading this you might be thinking well what does my anger have to do with the question what is love? The thing is ever since the age of 12 I have been observing myself and also others. Quantifying emotions to the point that they can be represented as concious decisions and rational. one may see that as a positive thing. It is a great way to gain control over one’s life but the down side is just as costly. One cannot connect on an emotional level with people. So for those of you who are in loving and working relationships try your hands at this. What is love? How do you define love? Is love just an emotion or feeling? if so then how is love just enough for you? People say that when you love someone you love them unconditionally. How do you fall in love to that extent with someone? I understand that these are hard questions and honestly I dont expect many or any replies but if you are so bold or you have an answer for me Ill be happy to read them.
Hello internutterz and residents of webville!
How are you all today? I was inspired to write today’s little blog after listening to a few comedians and it sparked a new energy. Lets talk theology.
The main topic at hand is Religion vs God. If you look in today’s day and age this seems to be one of the most conversational and controversial topic being discussed. Whether you are a Muslim, Christian or Jew, white, black or yellow it doesn’t matter because this is a discussion of the minds.
So let me start with my concept of God and how it ties into religion. God exists. He is everywhere and the cause of everything. Whether you agree with what and how he does things that is irrelevant. He does things for the best interest of everything. Not everything in respect to individuals but everything in terms of the big picture. Religion is how you get to know or try to understand your God and his accomplishments and his future plans for everything. Religion is one of God’s way of communicating his expectations from us.
God has enabled us with the gift of freedom. But freedom isn’t this awe inspiring concept filled with rainbows and ponies. But with freedom comes a heavy price. What is the price? The price is our choices. Whether you make the right choice is all perspective. I’m not talking choice of whose side are you on but choice of how you want to live your life.
Today however the concept of religion has changed from how to please your God and understand Him to how can I get into heaven and what’s the shortest most comfortable way to get there and what can God do for me so I can be happy. As the ages go on the human species has gotten more and more selfish motivated solely in pursuing goals and ideals that benefits only oneself. Due to this very reason there is corruption in even the purest of things that is religion.
Well if God is all powerful and so mighty with the ability to do anything why doesn’t he just change it? Firstly let me just say that God created us. Thus we need him and not the other way round. That being said I would also iterate that God is most wise. There is always an agenda of His in play. Whether you see the bigger picture is irrelevant. You can complain why God isn’t making your life easier all you like but that’s not how it works. Remember that God has given us the Freedom of Choice. if you ask for more wealth he isn’t going to just send you a fortune in the mail but rather give you the opportunity to get wealthy. Because Man has the capacity to learn and excel he is considered Gods greatest creation. That’s what it means to be created in God’s image. Not that we have the ability to become God but rather we can perfect and portray God. just as an image is just the cover to what the real thing looks like and establishes a first impression of things so to is Man an image of God built to show His might and Majesty.
There are many discussions concerning which prophet is true and which is better. These are petty things to squable about. What we should be concerning ourselves with is what is the message that these prophets have brought and did you get it? The core teachings and wisdom is the same across all religions and theologies. why do we then fight over who is better and superior when the beliefs are the same? The only thing of any difference would be which area the message came from and how to go about supplicating to your God. why is the method superseding the worship and belief?
So enough about my opinion. let me hear your thoughts on the subject.
Everyone, sooner or later, looks to find that special someone who can fill the void. Fill that feeling of lonliness and darkness that creeps up when you least expect it. As each day passes regret fills you up about those past relationships you have had and wished you had had. Maybe if you had done things differently you might be happy. Its better to have never loved than to have love and it gets taken away.
*le sigh* so many things go into making a relationship work. As a guy not only do you have to be the one to make your love happy but you cannot rely solely on her to make you happy. I wish women would get it through their heads that they arent always right.
“Us men can never win an argument against women. Its because we have a handicap. The thing is that we need things to make sense and seem logical. Women dont let such petty things like sense and logic get in their way” – Chris Rock.
Just a piece of advice to all you heartbroken and lonley people: there is no point in dwelving in the past. There isnt anything that you could have done to prevent the reltionship from ending. Realise that you could only go so far and if the other isnt trying to make things work out then the reltionship is bound for failure. Be proud of yourself of who you are. Obviously you have faults. Know them and try to overcome them. Your true life partner will not only accept your faults but also try and help you overcome them.
I’m back, hopefully this time permanantly. So I’ve been collecting subject materials for a couple weeks and now I have finally concluded on blogging mostly on relationships.
So this topic of relationships is very vast and so does require both experience and wisdom to understand and work with. Now under no circumstance should you assume that my methods, if you want to call it that, work every single time. My blogs are simply conclusions I have come to with my experiences in relationships. If you readers would like me to continue with the topic I ask that you leave me feedback so that I can better my content. Obviously I don’t know everything. I’m a guy. What do us guys know?
let’s start at the very beginning. In order to have a relationship the first and foremost detail is yourself. There are many problems and situations that can be avoided, prevented and/or solved if you can get a PhD in knowing yourself. What do I mean by this? Let’s start with who are you? What are you about? What are your strengths and weaknesses as a person? What ticks you off? What makes you happy? Many a people say that in order to have a successful relationship you need to be able to click with the other person or that the two of you need to have things in common. Well when you like someone to the point where you want to be with them then the above statement is very ridiculous and pointless.
You have to figure yourself out before you devote your time in figuring out other people. Only by knowing yourself will you be able to find a suitable person that is compatible to you. Big tits and nice ass doesn’t make a relationship last nor does tall, dark and handsome. Now you may sit there and think well duh I know myself. Of course I know what I am looking for in my significant other. But do you really? What most people confuse themselves with is what they want in someone and what they need in someone. For example you may be the type who enjoys traveling and site seeing. For such a person you NEED an adventurous personality to click with. But instead what people WANT is someone who likes the same movies or something dumb like that. What I’m trying to say is that people go about asking for or rather they look for the wrong things in a mate BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW THEMSELVES.
As mentioned before you NEED TO KNOW what ticks you off as well. If you are someone who can’t stand a messy house/room don’t try to get with someone who is a slob but is so god damn good looking you want to dry hump them. If you are looking for a casual fling or something to keep you occupied then you aren’t really serious about getting with someone. IF you are looking for a long term and a permanant relationship then KNOW YOURSELF.
Along with knowing what ticks you off see where you lose your patience with people. If you are constantly getting into arguments with him/her because you keep getting fed up with some of their actions then that relationship won’t last. Are you someone who gets pissed very easily? Or can you swallow your anger and let it go sometime? Do you have the patince to deal with him/her even though they do certain things that tick you off?
The reason I say KNOW YOURSELF is because once you master who you are you can let the other know. In a relationship honesty is everything. A lot of times people get with each other and commit to one another only to find out later that he/she do things that are ruining the relationship. If you know yourself such excuses and complaints will not be from you or because of you.
What are your thoughts? Agree? Disagree? Have similar or contradictory experiences? Share them with a comment below. Id love to hear your thoughts.
That’s all for today! See you all next week 🙂
Hey there internutterz!
So this blog was inspired by my date with Nicole 🙂 yea yea I know I’m suppose to be over her and whatnot. Don’t worry I have a broad smile on me and I think I’m fine. What am I reminiscing you ask? Well while on our date at bush gardens we met many kids and me being a kid myself love kids and so I was goofy and crazy with random stranger kids. I had a 5lb bag of gummy worms and teddy and stuff and I was giving it away!
Yea I know what you are thinking, “omg you are the stranger with the amazing candy my mommy warned me about!” No I’m not. I just love kids. And hins quality of mine had my baby smiling the whole time. She told me last night that I would make a great father.
There was a time when I didn’t want to have a relationship let alone be a father. I’m sure each one of you out there have been through these phases or maybe you are stuck somewhere in between. But my question is how do you know that you will make not a good parent but rather a great one. Here is my two cents from what I have experienced and been through as a kid growing up.
1st of all you have to remember one thing is that you were a kid once. Remember when your parents kept saying that they were kids once but for some reason it always seemed like they forgot what it was like to be a kid. My advice is don’t forget that.
Growing up you hated how your parents treated you sometimes if not most. Try not to do that. Treat them as your child. Yea I know it sounds confusing but what I mean is that be understanding. Don’t just say no to everything without a real reason. If all they keep hearing from you is “no” all the time they won’t like you much. They will only tolerate you because they have no choice as you are their parent. Of course kids make unreasonable demands sometimes. Just pick your fights and battles. Give in to some of those demands and say no to others.
Your kids should be able to confide in you. Question is can they? Do you think you can be a cool parent? A cool parent is understanding not one who judges. Think you can handle that?
And lastly enjoy your kids. You nevedr know what will happen that might deprive you of the joy of enjoying them. Don’t get mad at the littlest things they do. If all they remember is your rage you have failed.
What are your thoughts?
First off id like to thank you all for your kind comments and words. Yea I’m going through some tough emotional times right now. But I’m managing.
I guess it is easier to manage loss when you do have a support. Whether it be in the form of a friend or a random stranger. Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else that its over and she doesn’t want you. Sometimes it takes a great friend to pick you back up and dust off your shoulder, make you rise again and look forward. Its really hard to actually come by such good friends.
If there was one thing I’m glad as far as my parents’ parenting goes is that they have taught me to deal with lonliness. I’m no expert at it but I’ve found ways to not only easy the agony but also numb the mind to it.
I’m slowly getting over Nicole. Its hard but I am. It helps that there is another chick to keep my mind off of her but at the same time I’ve had to admit it to myself. Denial can ruin you. Sooner or later you have to face facts and the sooner you do the shorter the recovery.
To all my heartbroken people out there trust me when I say that maybe she wasn’t the one after all. Yes I know how much effort and work went into the relationship. I understand that you had amazing times and that maybe it was or wasn’t your fault for the break up. Trust me when I say that you will find someone else. You will. There is someone out there, perhaps right next to you and you don’t realise it, that will eliminate all the pain and suffering all the turmoil in your heart.
I understand that he/she that broke your heart was the one you love and you feel as though that you may not love again or in the same way. But love is a tricky thing. When you have it even if it may be a little of it whether it be in the form of affection or attration it will grow. It will spread. It will overtake and overcome all the negative inside you. It will make you alive again. It will heal you.
It is hard not to think of your ex. Afterall its only the good things that stay in your mind. Like how her lips felt when you kissed. Or how amazing his arms felt when he held you. But all that is in the heart. One day you will see that another love will step into your world and bring the light back in your eyes and the warmth back in your soul.
Just keep busy and don’t lose hope. I’m not saying forget them that is impossible. But don’t give up on love. You are worth it. You may not have been enough for them but for someone else your mere existance means the world to them. Smile and live. You may have lost one but you will gain another.
What are your thoughts? How have you dealt with break ups?