Hey all you peoplez and internutterz out there!

Did ya miss me?

Life is grand and seems to be on a upward bound. Truth be told things can always get worse and the good times rarely last long so im cherishing the few that im getting.

A little blerb about my online life:
For those that havent heard yet I am now the Director of Education and Training in K.S.I. what is KSI? It is a gaming community that i like to call my home away from home. The members in this community are like family to me and i am one of the elder brothers. As the Director of Education and training it is my job to ensure that there is growth and productivity from a leadership standpoint. I am tasked with the duty to come up with workshops and classes that our up and coming new and old leaders may take to better themselves in all aspects of leadership whether in or out of KSI.

As you all know that Gears 3 is a fortnite away and i couldnt be more excited. I went all out for gears 3 as I did for Halo reach. But this time i went a little further. I am proud to be the future owner of the gears of war 3 console. In honor of getting this i also invested in an HDPVR. What does this mean for my gaming life? Well first of all my Gaming geekout is running again and now i will start another youtube channel where i will showcase my gameplays with possible commentaries as well. Im stoked to put it lightly.

On a side not im done chasing women. Im just going to stay single for a good while because honestly a bitch is way too much trouble. I like being me and my life is good. Now if said girl is a gears gamer i might be inclined to go out with her 😀 GearsFTW!!!

Hey there internutterz!

Things are looking good in life. I am enjoying it and am glad that I am finally getting over my ex. Bitch can go and die for all I care. Not only was she a cheating whore but only a gold digger. Anywhos let’s leave all that in the past and jump to the future.

This blog is merely an announcement so to speak of an upcoming project I am working on. In a nuttshell I am looking to create a youtube channel that I will use as a gaming show of sorts. Ill be doing video reviews, news, fun facts and stuff. Everything will be related to gaming. I will be trying my best to incorporate others and so if you are a gamer and would like to be in the show please send me a message or drop me a comment and I will try to add you 🙂

You don’t have to be anyone important. Just someone who games. I may guest star you to just talk about the different games you play and or any you look forward to or what is your opinion on current gaming events, etc.

Most of my work will be related to PQ360.net but it is my own personal show.

I would love it if you guys can help me come up with a name for the show.

Thanx a lot guys and gals 🙂

Hey there Internutterz!

Today is March 17th. The day all Americans celebrate Get drunk day *cough* I mean St. Patrick’s day. For those of you who are not aware what this is (I just found out a few minutes ago) it is an IRISH holiday. Basically in the christian religion you are not suppose to drink till you are wasted and so for this one day of the whole year that restriction is lifted. Why? I don’t know!

Its just a holiday *cough* excuse to drink. So here is my take on it. Why the fuck do y’all need a fucking excuse to drink? Y’all do it anyways regardless of what day it is or what time it is. You pride yourselves on getting wasted. So why drag religion into this?

Its just a stupid “holiday” and everyone drags a saint into it and drinks till they throwup! What a holiday! Get a life you fucking dumbass people.

Hey all.

Yea this is just another spam blog or rant on bullshit in my life. I couldn’t sleep last night even after venting through blogging. Music calmed me down a bit but still no sleep. I picked up the courage to confront her about the issue and it went exactly as I had thought it would.

Sigh. I really hate everything right now. Why did I have to pick her? Ughhh! I just wanna smash something to bits! This is so frustrating! “I’m sorry baby I just can’t play Black Ops with you. I have a 4.0 win/loss ratio and I need to get that up” so what! How the fuck is that more important than spending time with me?????!!!!

I know that if I was there with her physically I wouldn’t be feeling like this at all. But I am not. Sigh.

So ill just remove her frok my xbl friends list like I do every asshole and bitch that starts bullshit with me and brings unnecessary drama in my life. Ill just pretend like she doesn’t exist and wait till I visit her.

She never does anything for me. Ever. Never takes time to just talk with me. Never takes time to melt my heart. Nothing. Its just so fucking frustrating that I do all this to keep her happy and get nothing in return. Why did I have to get this? Why? I am a fucking amazing guy and I don’t deserve this bullshit!

But I won’t break up because I know that the wait will be worth it. But now this option is on the table that she starts this kind of bullshit in real life and she can go find someone else. They say love is hard to come by. I disagree. A great guy like me is hard to come by. If you are reading this Nicole I’m letting you know now, you screw up even once when we live together and I’m kicking you out. No questions. You can be on your fucking way and ill be on mine.

I can get any woman I choose and you should be happy that I chose you. Yet I get treated like I don’t exist just because I’m not near you. I get ignored just because I’m not physically there. Do you know that you are on my mind every waking our of my life? Do you know that I am constantly thinking of ways to keep you smiling? Do you know that your happiness means the world to me? Then why the fuck don’t I get the same treatment? Why the fuck am I the only one trying to keep my lover happy? How come you can’t take a few minutes out of your oh so busy video game life to cheer me up? I know what your response is “just call me up baby. We will talk.” Talk? I’m done talking. We talk all the time according to you. But unfortunately that’s not the case. This is what we really do:
You go to work. We have a 3 min conversation during your ride to work. I call you when you are at home but its usually as an interuption when you play video games. I don’t want to be a bother in your life. I don’t want to intrude and take you away from what you are doing. Why is it that you can’t make time for me?

When I said that we don’t do anything together you asked what we can do. How about play video games? Well I know the answer to that. No. Why? Cuz you are always fucking playing balck ops and you are too good for me to play black ops. Sigh. How about something else? I don’t know? Watch a movie? Text each other? When was the last time you actually flirted with me? Or tried to turn me on? Or get naughty with me? What happened to the Nicole I fell in love with? Oh I know she is too busy for the man who is to be her husband. She doesn’t care about him enough to spend some time with him. Her time is too fucking precious.

All we talk about is what bills we have to pay and how I can help you stand on your feet. How would you like it if all I called you for was money and just ignored you the rest of the time? Or every once in a while I just sent you a text and stopped in mid text conversation?

This is the same reason I broke up last time. But I’m not breaking up this time for any reason. Though how I feel about you and my willingness to help you will change. Maybe I should just get a girl on the side who will keep me happy till the time I visit and we get married. At least she will have time for me. Maybe this matters to you. Maybe it doesn’t. But it does to me.

I do love you sweetheart with all my heart but sometimes you make me wonder if the feeling is or isn’t mutual.

Hey all.

Tonights blog is just me venting my frustrations of life on paper (electronic paper!). This month has been a blast! It has been amazing but due to recent events I am feeling more and more depressed. I feel empty again and I fucking hate this feeling. Its like a big void in my chest that seems to keep growing and growing.

Fucked up thoughts and evil intentions fill my mind every waking hour. I need to conquer myself. Is it jealousy that I feel? Is it hatred? I dont know.. At the moment I just wish someone would put me out of my misery.

I feel like I am being used. Like once my usefulness is over I am put to the side; forgotten like a rag after it serves its purpose.

So recently I have accomplished a lot. Life has been fantastic! I found a new goal and a new purpose in life that has revitalized and rejuvenated me in life. Not only that but I was able to get back with my ex girlfriend and things were looking up. I should have known that it was soon to go downhill. Everything in my life does. Maybe that is why I am such a jerk. Maybe that is why I am so negative towards life and such a pessimist.

Things between me and her were so good that we are planning to get married in a couple weeks. but now I sit here thinking as I write this that I’d rather swallow my own vomit. Its been almost 4 days now and she barely has time for me. Its like she gets with me just so I can help her out of tight spots and when I have served my purpose, she ignores me. Sigh. I dont know what I am doing wrong. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe I am overreacting or overthinking this. I usually tend to do so. but i really think I am in the right here.

how is it that the person you love the most, the person you want to marry is the one you spend the least time with? is that really love? Is there any affection in that kind of relationship? Dont you hate it when you are finally able to win their heart, they change? Its like to them its just a game. They say and do things just so they can get with you and then its like they are a whole new person.

She used to be so cool. I admired her personality. But recently the way she has been treating me I dont know. We used to talk alot and play video games and what not but now its like I dont even exist. From her recent text messages I got the message that she and her buddies are too good to play with me. Wow. This coming from my wife to be. Sigh. I’m trying not to jump the gun and blow the whole marriage thing up.

By us getting married she has the most to gain. Due to my enlisting in the army she gains the opportunity to get her life straight and get back in school. She gets to travel the world and visit places that she has always dreamed of going to. She gets a great husband who would treat her like a princess every waking moment of his life. What am I getting out of the marriage? Just a beautiful girl that loves me. That can cook great and plays video games. Playes video games without me.

Sigh.

I dont know anymore. Why am I even bothering anymore…

Hello my dear internutterz!

So I have been keeping up with Video game news for the past couple weeks and trying to keep an eye out on this huge event that is about to enfold in the weeks to come. For those who have not heard yet our dear country, a country based on and founded on the essence of freedom, is trying to limit and or take away our freedom to have fun through gaming.

What do I mean? Well keep reading and you will see. There is a governor way out there in the west by the name of The Terminator a.k.a Arnold Schwarzenegger who is trying to take a case to the Supreme Court. His stand point is basically that violent video games be marked with a 2 inch square label on the front of the case. Those that sell such games to minors would be liable for upto $1000 per violation.  Now you may be thinking Ah well thats nothing all they have to do is not sell it and that would be okay right? Wrong. We are all humans. And as humans we make that thing called mistakes. Yea.. The problem is that every time a “mistake” happens that store can get fined $1000. Can you imagine if that happened on like a launch day event? or like if you were giving away prizes for a contest or something? it could be catastrophic. Also this law would be in direct violation of our first amendment right of free speech.

Did you know that books, magazines, movies, etc all have protection under the first amendmant? These are all forms of expression and entertainment and art. Why should video games be any different? According to Terminator and his gang of very stuck up individuals, the government decides what should and should not be allowed to be given to minors a.k.a your kids. In other words the government knows much better than you the parent as to what is good for the kid. Last I checked it was the government that went to war for no reason. Last I checked it was the governemnt that declared African Americans as 2/3 of a person. Last I checked it was the government that said women had no right to vote. Well since the government has a track record of doing the right thing I guess we are in good hands with this idea that they are trying to make law.

So internutters, what do you think? Is it fair for the government to pass a law that restricts what games we play? Or do we have the right to play as we so choose?

The problem with restrictions is that the retail stores would not be so willing to carry these “violent games” if they are afraid that they may be doing something against the law. The fewer retail stores with these games means the less chances are that titles like Gears of war, Halo, CoD, MOH, etc will be made.  Or do you think that it is just and fair to have such restrictions. I guess if you have such a high consequence for a sale to a minor then these sale rates should go down or die out. Leave a comment and tell me what you think.

Hello internutterz!

Sorry for the delay in ze blogging. Alot has been happening in my life lately. If it’s not one thing it’s another. Home life isn’t too bright but I’m am so glad that I do have a special angel by my side to keep me smiling. Babe if you read this I would just say thank you for everything.

So this week I am spending my time with said angel. I must say that it’s been a blast so far. We had steak for dinner last night. I don’t think it came out as she expected but it tasted good anyways. She had it marinating in this amazing sauce and mmm it made my mouth water. Also we had this bread salad that yours truly helped make. Mmm yummy! I think we still have some left. 

Tonight we watched step up in 3D and went bowling. I got owned ofcourse cuz I suck at everything but hey she had a good time! She was definitely blushing and smiling. Anyways we are currently on our way home.. She is trying to irk me with her spelling error comments. Anyways will update about days two and so on laterz!

Peace!

Hello internutterz!

Today’s blog is about where they went wrong and by they I mean those old douchers we know as parents. Now before any of you readers get all offended and what not for my ridicule of these beings called parents know that I have mad respect for the work parents do and I know it isn’t an easy task. I understand that being a parent is frustrating and sometimes you have to be harsh so that you may look out for your childrens’ best intrests.

As kids we all dislike our parents. Why? Cuz we do bitch! Naa I kid. We all have our reasons. Some say cuz they don’t know what they are talking about. Some find anything they say to not make any sense and then others just simply can’t stand them. Whatever the case may be parents try their best to ensure the best upbringing they can provide. Now I believe the main problem starts here. 

Every parent wants what’s best for their kids. Now who is to say that what the parents say and want is truly best for their kids. Well just a news flash that parents used to be kids aswell and they can relate to some of the shit you guys go through.

That being said I would like to turn to these parents and address them a bit. Stop acting like you know every fucking thing cuz y’all really don’t know EVERYfuckingTHING. Yes it is true that you went through SIMILAR experiences but if you will continue to act like know-it-alls then you will keep getting the shitty treatment you have come to experience. Here is a hint if you want to not only get along with your kids but also be known as the kewl parent a.k.a the parent your kid is proud to have and is comfortable to approach with any questions/comments/concerns.

Before you parents start bitching at me for teling you how to do your job, please just breathe and listen to what I am saying. Honestly we both want our kids to be the best we want them to be. Also we want them to succeed in life WITH the parents in their lives. Here are some ways to ensure this happens.

First step. REMEMBER THAT YOU WERE KIDS ONCE! Do you remember how fucking anoying it got when your parents kept telling you no? Remember how annoying it was growing up when your siblings treated you like shit? Remember how much pressure you got from your teachers and parents and your peers? News flash: that’s what we are going through now! So cut the bullshit and give us some slack cuz honestly you know how much of a hell the life of a child is growing up.

Step two. STOP BEING A FUCKING PARENT ALL THE FUCKING TIME! I understand that you are the parent and that parenting is your job. But seriously sometimes you guys really seem to forget that you were kids once. Do you know how annoyng it was to be told what to do, how to do it and no if ands or buts all the fucking time? Well it’s still annoying when you do it! Really. No joke. It is. Remember when growing up you were like ‘naa, I’m not going to be like my dad?’ well you so are acting like that douche today. Seriously. Here is a thought though, how about you take a vacation from being a parent, I know it’s a fulltime job but I think it’s time to use those saved sick days and vacation time, and be a FRIEND to your kids. Children run away from parents because they find solace in friendship and friends. I’m not saying to let your kids go buckwild. Just treat them how you wish you were treated when you were growing up. 

I mean no offence by what I say to anyone. But some things need to be said and I’ll be the bearer of those news. The truth hurts. Say ouch and cry but son get over it cuz the truth of the matter is that to many parents are sucking at their jobs and it’s about time someone either fired them, replaced them or sent them to remedial classes.

That’s it for now. Comments?

Hello internutterz!

Well as I mentioned in my previous blog that I went to a Muslim convention. It got me thinking a bit and I really wanted to blog about God. Now whether you are a believer in God or not I’m sure deep down in your mind you have always wondered about life and have been awestruck at it’s miracles and wonders. I am a Muslim and I do believe in God. As a man of faith I have come to understand that everyone believes in something. And where it may be true that proof of God’s existence can be seen in modern science or in just the beauties of nature what really touches me are the special favors God bestows on his creations out of his mercy and grace.

Here are some of my personal examples that prove to me that I have a true and living God looking after me.

I was involved in a crazy accident this past week and all that happened was that the back and front of the car was crushed. Yet I survived the accident and came out without a scratch. And on top of that the car still works fine, just needs some body work.

I am the kind of person who doesn’t like to ask for anything. But I wil put my plea before God and see how he works his charm on me. I had spent a lot of my money on the hotel room and gas and food last week that I was broke and I needed gas money to get home. I saw that they had a blood drive going and I went to give blood. Lo and behold the nurse looked at me and smiled. She then gave me a $20 exxon mobile gift card and said that it was for me and that something told her to give this to me.

Whether you choose to give your God a name or not I believe that everyone has something they believe in. Why? Cuz I think it’s like an instinct that the objects always crave their creators in some way. If that doesn’t get you to think here is a thought; everyone asks god’s help when they are in trouble even the aethiests by simply saying the phrase ‘oh god help me.’ or ‘ Jesus christ’

Comments? 

Hello internutterz!

Wow it feels like fucking forever eh? I know I missed you guys too. Anywhos, sorry for the delay in the blogs. I have had a very busy week and lets just say that it is both amazing and not so much at the same time.

Well just as an update here is what I have been upto in my previous week. Again I apologize to my readers for the gap in my posts.

So last week I had to attend a Muslim Convention where I was part of their editting team. Yes a Muslim Convention. It was their 62nd Annual Convention held this year in Chantily in VA.  What can I say I’m just into the whole philosophy and world religion stuff! Now the convention was from Friday to Sunday as in today and I had to report there last wednesday.

The trip to base camp was in itself an interesting journey cuz let me tell you I got into a freakin’ car wrecking accident. Who needs to get on a rollercoaster ride when you can just take a ride in a car wreck?! lol!!!

The journey from Philly to Silverspring is suppose to be about 2.5 hrs long but I got there in 6!!! It was raining heavily with about 0% visibilty. Now I was about 45 mins away from Silverspring when my car went completely out of control and started to skid all over the place rotating 360 degrees and crashing into the middle dividers on the road. I can’t thank God enough for saving my life. More miracles happened later on but that’s a blog for another day. I did enjoy the convention thoroughly and heard some really inspiring speeches!

Now lets talk depression. Many of you guys and gals out there have heard of depression but very few know what it is. I find it very troubling that so many people out there use this term so lightly. If you look at what true depression is you will see how fucked up of a feeling it is and think twice before saying things like ‘i feel depressed today’. Depression is a state of being or feeling where not only are you sad but you also cannot find a meaning to your existence. You try to justify who you are to yourself but in vain. Depression causes suicidal thoughts and feelings and thus many depressed people end up taking their own lives.

Obviously if you find out if someone is depressed you would want to help them. But how do you help someone who has convinced themselves that their life isn’t worth the effort and that they should just end their lives? Well you have to be there for them and I don’t mean just to talk to them. Usually talking is great but after that you need to be the elder brother to them. Don’t be a parent or a ‘concerned’ friend cuz that’s loser talk for I’m just here to stop your whinning. You need to be stern about the way they are behaving yet gentle. Best way to keep them from depression is to just hang out with them and let your coolness rub off on them.

Depression hurts. Has it hurt you yet?