Balphazar's Blog

Hello internutterz!

Today’s blog is about where they went wrong and by they I mean those old douchers we know as parents. Now before any of you readers get all offended and what not for my ridicule of these beings called parents know that I have mad respect for the work parents do and I know it isn’t an easy task. I understand that being a parent is frustrating and sometimes you have to be harsh so that you may look out for your childrens’ best intrests.

As kids we all dislike our parents. Why? Cuz we do bitch! Naa I kid. We all have our reasons. Some say cuz they don’t know what they are talking about. Some find anything they say to not make any sense and then others just simply can’t stand them. Whatever the case may be parents try their best to ensure the best upbringing they can provide. Now I believe the main problem starts here. 

Every parent wants what’s best for their kids. Now who is to say that what the parents say and want is truly best for their kids. Well just a news flash that parents used to be kids aswell and they can relate to some of the shit you guys go through.

That being said I would like to turn to these parents and address them a bit. Stop acting like you know every fucking thing cuz y’all really don’t know EVERYfuckingTHING. Yes it is true that you went through SIMILAR experiences but if you will continue to act like know-it-alls then you will keep getting the shitty treatment you have come to experience. Here is a hint if you want to not only get along with your kids but also be known as the kewl parent a.k.a the parent your kid is proud to have and is comfortable to approach with any questions/comments/concerns.

Before you parents start bitching at me for teling you how to do your job, please just breathe and listen to what I am saying. Honestly we both want our kids to be the best we want them to be. Also we want them to succeed in life WITH the parents in their lives. Here are some ways to ensure this happens.

First step. REMEMBER THAT YOU WERE KIDS ONCE! Do you remember how fucking anoying it got when your parents kept telling you no? Remember how annoying it was growing up when your siblings treated you like shit? Remember how much pressure you got from your teachers and parents and your peers? News flash: that’s what we are going through now! So cut the bullshit and give us some slack cuz honestly you know how much of a hell the life of a child is growing up.

Step two. STOP BEING A FUCKING PARENT ALL THE FUCKING TIME! I understand that you are the parent and that parenting is your job. But seriously sometimes you guys really seem to forget that you were kids once. Do you know how annoyng it was to be told what to do, how to do it and no if ands or buts all the fucking time? Well it’s still annoying when you do it! Really. No joke. It is. Remember when growing up you were like ‘naa, I’m not going to be like my dad?’ well you so are acting like that douche today. Seriously. Here is a thought though, how about you take a vacation from being a parent, I know it’s a fulltime job but I think it’s time to use those saved sick days and vacation time, and be a FRIEND to your kids. Children run away from parents because they find solace in friendship and friends. I’m not saying to let your kids go buckwild. Just treat them how you wish you were treated when you were growing up. 

I mean no offence by what I say to anyone. But some things need to be said and I’ll be the bearer of those news. The truth hurts. Say ouch and cry but son get over it cuz the truth of the matter is that to many parents are sucking at their jobs and it’s about time someone either fired them, replaced them or sent them to remedial classes.

That’s it for now. Comments?

Hello internutterz!

Well as I mentioned in my previous blog that I went to a Muslim convention. It got me thinking a bit and I really wanted to blog about God. Now whether you are a believer in God or not I’m sure deep down in your mind you have always wondered about life and have been awestruck at it’s miracles and wonders. I am a Muslim and I do believe in God. As a man of faith I have come to understand that everyone believes in something. And where it may be true that proof of God’s existence can be seen in modern science or in just the beauties of nature what really touches me are the special favors God bestows on his creations out of his mercy and grace.

Here are some of my personal examples that prove to me that I have a true and living God looking after me.

I was involved in a crazy accident this past week and all that happened was that the back and front of the car was crushed. Yet I survived the accident and came out without a scratch. And on top of that the car still works fine, just needs some body work.

I am the kind of person who doesn’t like to ask for anything. But I wil put my plea before God and see how he works his charm on me. I had spent a lot of my money on the hotel room and gas and food last week that I was broke and I needed gas money to get home. I saw that they had a blood drive going and I went to give blood. Lo and behold the nurse looked at me and smiled. She then gave me a $20 exxon mobile gift card and said that it was for me and that something told her to give this to me.

Whether you choose to give your God a name or not I believe that everyone has something they believe in. Why? Cuz I think it’s like an instinct that the objects always crave their creators in some way. If that doesn’t get you to think here is a thought; everyone asks god’s help when they are in trouble even the aethiests by simply saying the phrase ‘oh god help me.’ or ‘ Jesus christ’

Comments? 

Hello internutterz!

Wow it feels like fucking forever eh? I know I missed you guys too. Anywhos, sorry for the delay in the blogs. I have had a very busy week and lets just say that it is both amazing and not so much at the same time.

Well just as an update here is what I have been upto in my previous week. Again I apologize to my readers for the gap in my posts.

So last week I had to attend a Muslim Convention where I was part of their editting team. Yes a Muslim Convention. It was their 62nd Annual Convention held this year in Chantily in VA.  What can I say I’m just into the whole philosophy and world religion stuff! Now the convention was from Friday to Sunday as in today and I had to report there last wednesday.

The trip to base camp was in itself an interesting journey cuz let me tell you I got into a freakin’ car wrecking accident. Who needs to get on a rollercoaster ride when you can just take a ride in a car wreck?! lol!!!

The journey from Philly to Silverspring is suppose to be about 2.5 hrs long but I got there in 6!!! It was raining heavily with about 0% visibilty. Now I was about 45 mins away from Silverspring when my car went completely out of control and started to skid all over the place rotating 360 degrees and crashing into the middle dividers on the road. I can’t thank God enough for saving my life. More miracles happened later on but that’s a blog for another day. I did enjoy the convention thoroughly and heard some really inspiring speeches!

Now lets talk depression. Many of you guys and gals out there have heard of depression but very few know what it is. I find it very troubling that so many people out there use this term so lightly. If you look at what true depression is you will see how fucked up of a feeling it is and think twice before saying things like ‘i feel depressed today’. Depression is a state of being or feeling where not only are you sad but you also cannot find a meaning to your existence. You try to justify who you are to yourself but in vain. Depression causes suicidal thoughts and feelings and thus many depressed people end up taking their own lives.

Obviously if you find out if someone is depressed you would want to help them. But how do you help someone who has convinced themselves that their life isn’t worth the effort and that they should just end their lives? Well you have to be there for them and I don’t mean just to talk to them. Usually talking is great but after that you need to be the elder brother to them. Don’t be a parent or a ‘concerned’ friend cuz that’s loser talk for I’m just here to stop your whinning. You need to be stern about the way they are behaving yet gentle. Best way to keep them from depression is to just hang out with them and let your coolness rub off on them.

Depression hurts. Has it hurt you yet?

Hey internutterz!

Well, it seems that this is going to be one long summer after all. My mom and my little brother have both shipped out to pakistan for the summer. I really miss that little guy. Before he left I took him to see Despicable be and let just say that it might just be the best movie of the summer.

Despicable me is a movie about a guy who in his heart will always be a boy. The story is about this guy whose main goal in life is to get recognised. Even as a child he was just brushed aside even though he desperately tried to gain his mothers approval. But his mom never gave it to him. I did understand why towards the end of the movie so major props to her for being a bitch to him this whole time. It’s called parenting.. Everyone has their own style.

The movie starts out with a group of tourists in egypt visitting the great pyramids and due to a kid being a spoiled brat everyone finds out that someone had stolen the great pyramid. News spread fast of this epic heist and people in the villan world automatically assumed it was Mr. Gru (the main character). But turns out that Gru had nothing to do with it and so was equally surprised at the news. Now before this heist it seemed that Gru was the badest and greatest super villan around but due to the heist of the pyramid he no longer could hold that title. Due to this event he brought forth the idea of stealling the moon.

He finds out that this kid named Victor a.k.a vector had stollen the pyramid and now was after his idea of stealling the moon. So obviously there is a feud between them two now. As you may recal through the previews that there are 3 girls in the movie. These 3 kids are orphans who are in foster care. One day Gru sees them sellling cookies and they were able to enter Vector’s empire without being harmed. 

Let me backtrack a bit and just mention that it is physically impossible to steal the moon. Physically impossible unless you have a shrink ray 🙂 which the ‘government’ seems to be developing. Go figure. Maybe the obesity problem was getting out of control so they started making it. Who knows. Maybe they relised the black people were too well endowed and so to make themselves feel better they produced something to shrink their shlongs to shlorts. *shrug*. So Gru steals this shrink ray from the government and then Vector steals it from him.

Now that Vector has the shrink ray Gru is adamant and hell bent on getting it back. Once he realises that the three girls selling cookies have access to Vectors home he adopts them and that’s where all the fun starts.

Alot happens between Gru the super evil villan and the three girls. I’ll let Gru tell you the story about the unicorn and the 3 kittens. 

The movie is very funny and definitely worthy of the 5/5 along with the balphy’s approval for fun and laughter.

Watch it. Love it. Enjoy it.

Peace.

Hey internutterz!

Sorry for the interuption in my blogging. I’ve been really swamped with shit the past few days and do apologise to all my readers out there.

(troll: what readers? You know damn well that there is no one reading this piece of shit you call your opinion)

-_-.. Troll get the fuch off my page before I do something.

(troll: yea, like what? Talk shit to yourself? You know I’m just the beter side of you.)

Whatever.

Anywhos, so an update as to some stuff happening in the Dino’s life.

First off thanks to the internut I have an epic virus on my notebook and so can’t do shit. I’m missing out on so much!!! Aaaaggghhh! I feel so not connected with the world. So used to having everything at my fingertips.

Also I’ve been overworking myself what with being involved with my youth group, work and my new found girlfriend (or at least I think that’s what she is.) I don’t like to complain so I will say that though life isn’t super fantastic right now I’ve learned that one should be thankful anyways regardless of the situation cuz shit can always happen and it could be worse. Don’t believe me? Just take your shitty situation and I dare you to say out loud ‘i hate my fucking life. It’s so fucked up. It can’t get any worse.’ and watch it get worse.

Anyways that’s all for now. I wil be doing a lot of travelling the next couple weeks so I do apologise in advance if you guys don’t see something from me. Have a trip to new york and then to milwalkie and then back to new york and then to maryland and hopefully I can visit my baby girl in Virginia! Wish me luck and I hope my life doesn’t get any worse.

Peace!

Hello internutterz!

Today’s edition of Balphy’s blog brought to you by choices of life. The one thing that will definitely screw you over in life. Available wherever you shop for whatever you shop. 

So today I shall detail and try to make easy the whole ‘what-phone-should-i-get’ business.

First things first. When shopping for ANYTHING have a budget and KNOW your budget. This is where your credit goes bad people, for those of you trying to figure out why your score is so low.

Next up is the phone you want. Now before we dive into the subject of phone may I suggest asking yourself exactly what is it that you require out of this phone/device. Depending on your answer we will have a solution.

To those who want a simple phone for what it was innitially invented to be. Just for calls there are plenty of carriers out there that offer plans ranging from $10-$25. Some examples are Virgin mobile (the only cheap virgins out there), cricket, metro, boost mobile. Now these carriers have some very kewl phones for bargain deals. Again these are for those people looking to just stay in their calling areas, they don’t travel elsewhere at all and they only want a basic plan for calling and maybe texting.

Next up are what I call my ‘oh-my-god-i-need-a-kewl-phone’ people. These people want something more than just your average calling and texting. They want to be able to send and receive pictures. Check their facebook and just stay connected with their friends. For them I recommend T-mobile as a carrier choice. T-mobile is very cheap and comprehensive to the needs of the above mentioned type of people. T-mobile has plans ranging in various prices of upto $50. People in this category like to move about the city/state and want access to their friends family and sometimes their uncle Joe as wel at all times. My recomendation is that these people should as to be given a feature phone. A feature phone is like a canadian. A wanna be smartphone. Basically a feature phone is an eye candy and does everything the user expects of it. Now in my opinion people in this category should get that lame thing called the iphone. (*throws up* can’t believe I just recommended an apple product)

And finally for the people who want the world at their fingertips I give you the smartphone people. Now smart phone people are people who have phones that have OS’s or Operating Systems. Basically they have phones that make your computer look like that kiddy toy a 5 yr old plays with. These phones are fast, smooth, sexy and simply a work of art as far as techs and specs go. The best OS’s out there right now are Android and WebOS. Though if you wait a couple months windows will be back in business with their windows phone 7.

I bet some of you are thinking that the iphone is a smart phone. No it is not. I repeat it is not. My brother’s samsung messenger does the same thing that apple trash does. A smart phone has to be able to multi task as well as have different applications to help it’s user do various things like email, calendar business tools, etc. 

When looking into the plans available out there for your phones you need to look at what you are getting for what you are paying and what the competition has to offer. Forexample if you just want to talk and txt in your local area then the most you should be paying per month is $30. People who would like to have a mini internet available to them the max they should pay is $50. The tricky bit comes in with smart phones because they require what is called a data plan. Data is anything and everything you do on the internet or internet based like email, twitter, facebook, youtube, streaming, etc. If you are the type who wants unlimited data because you might have withdrawal if you are away from the internet for too long then go with sprint. They have the best plan. About $70 a month for unlimited data and messaging (txt, pix and video) as well as unlimited mobile to mobile on any network. If you are just a casual user of data then go with AT&T or Verizon. There is no price difference there. Just a difference in nerwork and phones. 

Well that’s all for now. If anyone has any questions, leave a comment and I’ll answer them the best I can.

Peace!