I wonder about this world sometimes.

Posted by Balphazar on December 26, 2012
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Hello sirs and ma’ams and all you inbetweeners! 

Firstly a little update on my own personal life:

1. I relaunched my gaming community called Gamerz Dynasty in September. I have been working hard on the website and the gaming side for a couple months now and things are coming along fairly nicely. Still working on content for the site but till then lets see. what happens.

2. I met a girl. She is an amazing girl. The first person to actually see right through me to my core and love me for what she saw. Ill do an entire blog to her if anyone is interested later.

3. I got a job at Gamestop. Great place to work at! and Perks are effing awesome!

Now as for me Im going to start doing this every night. Its interesting what one can write about if they just go through their everyday life. Ill make this an online diary or a compilation of events of my life so that maybe one day I can look back at this and laugh and show my kids what their dad was upto when he was growing up.

Also there will always be a little gaming blurb as to what Im gaming and what I think of it.

Currently I picked up XCOM. let me just say that I rarely play RTS games. I have played a few in the past like command and Conquer or Halo wars and such but this plays like chess and I love chess. The story is very plain. Aliens invade earth. You are the commander tasked with killing them. that’s it. But its not about the story line. Its about playing the game. 

They say music can alter moods and talk to you
Well can it load a gun up for you , and cock it too
Well if it can, then the next time you assault a dude
Just tell the judge it was my fault and i’ll get sued
See what these kids do is hear about us totin’ pistols
And they want to get one cause they think the shit’s cool
Not knowin’ we really just protectin’ ourselves, we entertainers
Of course the shit’s affectin’ our sales, you ignoramus
But music is reflection of self, we just explain it, and then we get our
checks in the mail

– Eminem (Sing for a moment)

Recently the nation has been in uproar due to the shooting that took place at a school where a person massacred some children and then offed himself. What I have to say in this matter may appear fucked up to you and you might lose respect for me. Personally speaking these blogs are my thoughts and so if you are reading and dont like what I say stop being a little prick like online gamers and just exit out. You are not being forced to read any of this.

We live in a time where its just you against the world. No one really cares who falls and who gets up as long as there is something in it for them. Its all about self preservation. Family members will stab each other in the back to gain a few coins the other has. Or gain some fame so their names last forever in history and hence their families will have a legacy. We live in a world where being sexually explicit on the internet with no physical contact with a minor will get you a harsher sentence than a pedophile who uses and abuses children for their own pleasures. We are part of a society where we have become so self conscious that  we get offended by the slightest truths. The western society has become so poisonous that moral values and decency have been chucked out in the name of Freedom. What kind of freedom do you exercise that harms those around you. 

Lets just take the Freedom of speech for example. Do you know why it was given by our government so that if they stepped out of line in governing its people you had the right to say so and put it in its place. A government by the people for the people. But in today’s culture it s not just okay but applauded to use to spread lies and public humiliation of others. In the name of freedom of speech the media of today has corrupted the minds of our future and made them afraid of simple things as playing outside  and filled their minds with such hatred and utter stupidity that its almost a wonder that they can be accepted as part of society.

So I say to you oh shooter who massacred all those children thank you. Im sure the parents and family will grieve but Id be more heart broken when my own kids who I raise just leave me and forget about me in an old folks home because that is what today’s society says is the right thing to do. Those children are better off in heaven with God. I bet they look down on us and laugh at our pathetic lives.

What is love?

Posted by Balphazar on October 4, 2012
Posted in: Blogz for thought, Relationships. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a comment

Hey all!

Its 5:36 in the morning and I’ve finally gotten around to writing another one of my meaningless meaningful thoughts. As most of you already know Im a single guy. Life as a single guy is very simple and straight forward bogged down only by the drama of work and the friends he hangs out with. The past couple weeks have been very interesting for me and as such my thoughts have been contemplating on this subject.

So my question to all of you readers is simple and yet one of the greatest mysteries of life. What is love? the short answer is that it is an immense feeling of purpose and belonging to a person or thing. Before we go further into the meaning and definition of love let me tell you why I am asking this and a few questions pertaining to this very subject of love.

At the age of 12 a great incident took place in my life that caused me to examine myself for the first time and give myself a stern personality makeover. What I did was beat my brother half to death. So much so that he was hospitalized for a couple weeks so that his bones could be repaired. It is safe to assume that I had anger management issues. I guess I get that from my dad’s side of the family. But I dont buy into that. Where it may be true that there are certain impulses that run in certain families and dare not subject myself to the notion that one cannot control onself. After all we are the human race and we did not make it to the top of the food chain by being cumpulsive. No. We are more rational than that.

One would expect that my parents would have beat the living hell out of me and/or disowned me after that. Alas such was not the case. My mother sat me down shortly after and spoke to me very softly but seriously. She spoke to me as a mother with love and affection for her child and I paid attention. It was one of the few words of wisdom she told me or steered me to that I have thus constructed my life to revolve around. She told me if I understood what I had done to my brother. I replied yes. And then she said a simple self reflecting question. A thought provoking conundrum if you will. She asked me simply “Can you imagine if that was your son in there and due to your anger he ended up in a hospital because of you?” After that day I have not had an episode where I have lost control of my anger to that extent.

How did I manage to do that you may ask. Well the short answer is that I employed the philosophy of mind over matter. When surges of emotions overpower you, the mind is rarely able to make sound decisions. One of my biggest flaws was anger and thus I had to gain control over it fast. So I started observing myself and quantifying myself and my behaviour. This lead to me laughing at certain things in life that previously would make me furious towards others.

As you are reading this you might be thinking well what does my anger have to do with the question what is love? The thing is ever since the age of 12 I have been observing myself and also others. Quantifying emotions to the point that they can be represented as concious decisions and rational. one may see that as a positive thing. It is a great way to gain control over one’s life but the down side is just as costly. One cannot connect on an emotional level with people. So for those of you who are in loving and working relationships try your hands at this. What is love? How do you define love? Is love just an emotion or feeling? if so then how is love just enough for you? People say that when you love someone you love them unconditionally. How do you fall in love to that extent with someone? I understand that these are hard questions and honestly I dont expect many or any replies but if you are so bold or you have an answer for me Ill be happy to read them. 

Religion vs God

Posted by Balphazar on March 23, 2012
Posted in: Blogz for thought. Leave a comment

Hello internutterz and residents of webville!

How are you all today? I was inspired to write today’s little blog after listening to a few comedians and it sparked a new energy. Lets talk theology.

The main topic at hand is Religion vs God. If you look in today’s day and age this seems to be one of the most conversational and controversial topic being discussed. Whether you are a Muslim, Christian or Jew, white, black or yellow it doesn’t matter because this is a discussion of the minds.

So let me start with my concept of God and how it ties into religion. God exists. He is everywhere and the cause of everything. Whether you agree with what and how he does things that is irrelevant. He does things for the best interest of everything. Not everything in respect to individuals but everything in terms of the big picture. Religion is how you get to know or try to understand your God and his accomplishments and his future plans for everything. Religion is one of God’s way of communicating his expectations from us.

God has enabled us with the gift of freedom. But freedom isn’t this awe inspiring concept filled with rainbows and ponies. But with freedom comes a heavy price. What is the price? The price is our choices. Whether you make the right choice is all perspective. I’m not talking choice of whose side are you on but choice of how you want to live your life.

Today however the concept of religion has changed from how to please your God and understand Him to how can I get into heaven and what’s the shortest most comfortable way to get there and what can God do for me so I can be happy. As the ages go on the human species has gotten more and more selfish motivated solely in pursuing goals and ideals that benefits only oneself. Due to this very reason there is corruption in even the purest of things that is religion.

Well if God is all powerful and so mighty with the ability to do anything why doesn’t he just change it? Firstly let me just say that God created us. Thus we need him and not the other way round. That being said I would also iterate that God is most wise. There is always an agenda of His in play. Whether you see the bigger picture is irrelevant. You can complain why God isn’t making your life easier all you like but that’s not how it works. Remember that God has given us the Freedom of Choice. if you ask for more wealth he isn’t going to just send you a fortune in the mail but rather give you the opportunity to get wealthy. Because Man has the capacity to learn and excel he is considered Gods greatest creation. That’s what it means to be created in God’s image. Not that we have the ability to become God but rather we can perfect and portray God. just as an image is just the cover to what the real thing looks like and establishes a first impression of things so to is Man an image of God built to show His might and Majesty.

There are many discussions concerning which prophet is true and which is better. These are petty things to squable about. What we should be concerning ourselves with is what is the message that these prophets have brought and did you get it? The core teachings and wisdom is the same across all religions and theologies. why do we then fight over who is better and superior when the beliefs are the same? The only thing of any difference would be which area the message came from and how to go about supplicating to your God. why is the method superseding the worship and belief?

So enough about my opinion. let me hear your thoughts on the subject.

A Poem about you

Posted by Balphazar on September 25, 2011
Posted in: Blogz for thought, Relationships. 1 Comment

Everyone, sooner or later, looks to find that special someone who can fill the void. Fill that feeling of lonliness and darkness that creeps up when you least expect it. As each day passes regret fills you up about those past relationships you have had and wished you had had. Maybe if you had done things differently you might be happy. Its better to have never loved than to have love and it gets taken away.

*le sigh* so many things go into making a relationship work. As a guy not only do you have to be the one to make your love happy but you cannot rely solely on her to make you happy. I wish women would get it through their heads that they arent always right.

“Us men can never win an argument against women. Its because we have a handicap. The thing is that we need things to make sense and seem logical. Women dont let such petty things like sense and logic get in their way” – Chris Rock.

Just a piece of advice to all you heartbroken and lonley people: there is no point in dwelving in the past. There isnt anything that you could have done to prevent the reltionship from ending. Realise that you could only go so far and if the other isnt trying to make things work out then the reltionship is bound for failure. Be proud of yourself of who you are. Obviously you have faults. Know them and try to overcome them. Your true life partner will not only accept your faults but also try and help you overcome them.

Miss me?

Posted by Balphazar on September 5, 2011
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment

Hey all you peoplez and internutterz out there!

Did ya miss me?

Life is grand and seems to be on a upward bound. Truth be told things can always get worse and the good times rarely last long so im cherishing the few that im getting.

A little blerb about my online life:
For those that havent heard yet I am now the Director of Education and Training in K.S.I. what is KSI? It is a gaming community that i like to call my home away from home. The members in this community are like family to me and i am one of the elder brothers. As the Director of Education and training it is my job to ensure that there is growth and productivity from a leadership standpoint. I am tasked with the duty to come up with workshops and classes that our up and coming new and old leaders may take to better themselves in all aspects of leadership whether in or out of KSI.

As you all know that Gears 3 is a fortnite away and i couldnt be more excited. I went all out for gears 3 as I did for Halo reach. But this time i went a little further. I am proud to be the future owner of the gears of war 3 console. In honor of getting this i also invested in an HDPVR. What does this mean for my gaming life? Well first of all my Gaming geekout is running again and now i will start another youtube channel where i will showcase my gameplays with possible commentaries as well. Im stoked to put it lightly.

On a side not im done chasing women. Im just going to stay single for a good while because honestly a bitch is way too much trouble. I like being me and my life is good. Now if said girl is a gears gamer i might be inclined to go out with her 😀 GearsFTW!!!

New and upcoming youtuber :)

Posted by Balphazar on May 24, 2011
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Hey there internutterz!

Things are looking good in life. I am enjoying it and am glad that I am finally getting over my ex. Bitch can go and die for all I care. Not only was she a cheating whore but only a gold digger. Anywhos let’s leave all that in the past and jump to the future.

This blog is merely an announcement so to speak of an upcoming project I am working on. In a nuttshell I am looking to create a youtube channel that I will use as a gaming show of sorts. Ill be doing video reviews, news, fun facts and stuff. Everything will be related to gaming. I will be trying my best to incorporate others and so if you are a gamer and would like to be in the show please send me a message or drop me a comment and I will try to add you 🙂

You don’t have to be anyone important. Just someone who games. I may guest star you to just talk about the different games you play and or any you look forward to or what is your opinion on current gaming events, etc.

Most of my work will be related to PQ360.net but it is my own personal show.

I would love it if you guys can help me come up with a name for the show.

Thanx a lot guys and gals 🙂

Gears Of War 3 Beta Impression

Posted by Balphazar on April 19, 2011
Posted in: Gaming Newz. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a comment

Hello Internutterz!

Balphy here with another game review. Obviously Gears of war 3 isn’t out yet and unless you have been sleeping under a rock lately or haven’t had contact with the outside world, you would know that one of the most anticipated games of the year has a beta out.

For those that know me, I am in a nutshell a gear head. The previous titles released by epic games in the GoW series were nothing short of epic! Many changes were made from gears 1 to gears 2 and it seems epic still had stuff up their sleeves for Gears 3.

New Stuff:
Let’s start with the weapons. Gears 3 has an armory of new weapons and also a little changes to the old. For better or for worse you decide.

First and formost is the Retro Lancer. This bad boy packs quiet a punch and its charge attack is a force to be reckoned with. It is good for short to mid range attacks because where it lacks in accuracy it makes up in brute force.

Second is the sawed off shotty. This little weapon is one nasty mother fucker. For those of you who love corner camping and blind firing this is the weapon for you. This tool of destruction has the power to obliterate a whole oncoming army. Seriously I bodied 4 people with ONE shot from the sawed off shotgun. Down side to this weapon is that it has no range whatsoever! Your enemy needs to be at most arms length away for you to effectively use the weapon. A word of caution, I wouldn’t want to be stuck in a close quarter combat with this weapon. On the other hand if your enemy misses his shot you get a good 5-10 secs to blow his head off a.k.a reloading takes forever.

Also introduced is the digger! One of my favorite guns by far! This gives new meaning to random but destructive firing! This weapon shoots an explosive that goes underground and surfaces near the first enemy it encounters. Best to use against those hiding and camping behind covers! Take that you fucking campers!

Also soon to come is the onshot. It does what it says ladies and gentlemen. This gizmo is a form of sniper rifle that basically kills you in one shot, regardless of where you shoot the enemy.

And last but not least is the introduction of a whole new era of burn! There is a new grenade in town and this little thing brings some serious heat. It is basically a moltov and has a decent damage area. Great to use to lower your enemies out from cover and then lancer them down.

Changes to expect:
One of the changes to expect is executions! You have to unclock these. Yes I know that sounds lame but its worth it! The better you get with a select weapon the more executions you have for it. Many new executions have been introduced like ripping someone’s arm and beating him/her to death with it or using the lancer bayonet to chainsaw someone into itty bitty pieces.

The ink grenade has been changed and as far as I can tell its lame. I haven’t had much luck with it but then again due to the fast paced gameply this grenade is somewhat useless.

Gameplay has considerably changed. No more lag time between wall bouncing or corner shooting. Its just on fluid fast movement and for those that can remaster wall bouncing can give the term ‘beast mode’ a whole new meaning.

One thing I didn’t like so much but won’t complain about is that getting headshots has become considerably easy. But I think easy isn’t the word. In Gears 2 even though you would line up a headshot correctly getting one was hard and close to impossible. But I guess due to dedicated servers achieving headshots is possible at least a few times a game.

One of my personal favorite thing new to the game is the fact that I can finally do something about those scrubs that hide behind cover and blind fire all day, too afraid to meet me and my shotty in a real battle. Now if you jump over cover ther happens to be an enemy behind the cover you will stun him and this will give you enough time to deal with him as you so chose.

Remember way back in the day smoke grenades meant something? Well let those memories come back because those smoke grenades are also minor concussion grenades as well. When used properly it can buy you enough time to go and revive your teammates or be the short moment to run and hide for cover. It won’t knock you over but it will incapacitate you for 2-3 secs.

So far we were only able to sample the new TDM mode. In a nutshell each team has a set number of lives, 15 to be exact and when those life counters run out its game over. In theory its great but it sucks when you get scrubs on your team and they keep dying on you and thus hogging all the lives. Where as in Gears 2 one person could possibly ‘clutch’ the game, Gears3 puts heavy emphasis on working as a team. Trust me when I say you won’t wanna play this with randoms.

At first try I was getting very infuriated by the game and ended up hating it. But now that I’m used to it and understand the gameplay and can keep up with it I am liking it more and more. I can’t wait for the new game modes to come in and see what it has to offer.

It starts

Posted by Balphazar on March 30, 2011
Posted in: Blogz for thought, Relationships. Tagged: , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

Hello internutterz!

I’m back, hopefully this time permanantly. So I’ve been collecting subject materials for a couple weeks and now I have finally concluded on blogging mostly on relationships.

So this topic of relationships is very vast and so does require both experience and wisdom to understand and work with. Now under no circumstance should you assume that my methods, if you want to call it that, work every single time. My blogs are simply conclusions I have come to with my experiences in relationships. If you readers would like me to continue with the topic I ask that you leave me feedback so that I can better my content. Obviously I don’t know everything. I’m a guy. What do us guys know?

let’s start at the very beginning. In order to have a relationship the first and foremost detail is yourself. There are many problems and situations that can be avoided, prevented and/or solved if you can get a PhD in knowing yourself. What do I mean by this? Let’s start with who are you? What are you about? What are your strengths and weaknesses as a person? What ticks you off? What makes you happy? Many a people say that in order to have a successful relationship you need to be able to click with the other person or that the two of you need to have things in common. Well when you like someone to the point where you want to be with them then the above statement is very ridiculous and pointless.

You have to figure yourself out before you devote your time in figuring out other people. Only by knowing yourself will you be able to find a suitable person that is compatible to you. Big tits and nice ass doesn’t make a relationship last nor does tall, dark and handsome. Now you may sit there and think well duh I know myself. Of course I know what I am looking for in my significant other. But do you really? What most people confuse themselves with is what they want in someone and what they need in someone. For example you may be the type who enjoys traveling and site seeing. For such a person you NEED an adventurous personality to click with. But instead what people WANT is someone who likes the same movies or something dumb like that. What I’m trying to say is that people go about asking for or rather they look for the wrong things in a mate BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW THEMSELVES.

As mentioned before you NEED TO KNOW what ticks you off as well. If you are someone who can’t stand a messy house/room don’t try to get with someone who is a slob but is so god damn good looking you want to dry hump them. If you are looking for a casual fling or something to keep you occupied then you aren’t really serious about getting with someone. IF you are looking for a long term and a permanant relationship then KNOW YOURSELF.

Along with knowing what ticks you off see where you lose your patience with people. If you are constantly getting into arguments with him/her because you keep getting fed up with some of their actions then that relationship won’t last. Are you someone who gets pissed very easily? Or can you swallow your anger and let it go sometime? Do you have the patince to deal with him/her even though they do certain things that tick you off?

The reason I say KNOW YOURSELF is because once you master who you are you can let the other know. In a relationship honesty is everything. A lot of times people get with each other and commit to one another only to find out later that he/she do things that are ruining the relationship. If you know yourself such excuses and complaints will not be from you or because of you.

What are your thoughts? Agree? Disagree? Have similar or contradictory experiences? Share them with a comment below. Id love to hear your thoughts.

That’s all for today! See you all next week 🙂

Like you need a reason to drink.

Posted by Balphazar on March 17, 2011
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment

Hey there Internutterz!

Today is March 17th. The day all Americans celebrate Get drunk day *cough* I mean St. Patrick’s day. For those of you who are not aware what this is (I just found out a few minutes ago) it is an IRISH holiday. Basically in the christian religion you are not suppose to drink till you are wasted and so for this one day of the whole year that restriction is lifted. Why? I don’t know!

Its just a holiday *cough* excuse to drink. So here is my take on it. Why the fuck do y’all need a fucking excuse to drink? Y’all do it anyways regardless of what day it is or what time it is. You pride yourselves on getting wasted. So why drag religion into this?

Its just a stupid “holiday” and everyone drags a saint into it and drinks till they throwup! What a holiday! Get a life you fucking dumbass people.

Are you ready to be a parent?

Posted by Balphazar on March 5, 2011
Posted in: Blogz for thought. 2 Comments

Hey there internutterz!

So this blog was inspired by my date with Nicole 🙂 yea yea I know I’m suppose to be over her and whatnot. Don’t worry I have a broad smile on me and I think I’m fine. What am I reminiscing you ask? Well while on our date at bush gardens we met many kids and me being a kid myself love kids and so I was goofy and crazy with random stranger kids. I had a 5lb bag of gummy worms and teddy and stuff and I was giving it away!

Yea I know what you are thinking, “omg you are the stranger with the amazing candy my mommy warned me about!” No I’m not. I just love kids. And hins quality of mine had my baby smiling the whole time. She told me last night that I would make a great father.

There was a time when I didn’t want to have a relationship let alone be a father. I’m sure each one of you out there have been through these phases or maybe you are stuck somewhere in between. But my question is how do you know that you will make not a good parent but rather a great one. Here is my two cents from what I have experienced and been through as a kid growing up.

1st of all you have to remember one thing is that you were a kid once. Remember when your parents kept saying that they were kids once but for some reason it always seemed like they forgot what it was like to be a kid. My advice is don’t forget that.

Growing up you hated how your parents treated you sometimes if not most. Try not to do that. Treat them as your child. Yea I know it sounds confusing but what I mean is that be understanding. Don’t just say no to everything without a real reason. If all they keep hearing from you is “no” all the time they won’t like you much. They will only tolerate you because they have no choice as you are their parent. Of course kids make unreasonable demands sometimes. Just pick your fights and battles. Give in to some of those demands and say no to others.

Your kids should be able to confide in you. Question is can they? Do you think you can be a cool parent? A cool parent is understanding not one who judges. Think you can handle that?

And lastly enjoy your kids. You nevedr know what will happen that might deprive you of the joy of enjoying them. Don’t get mad at the littlest things they do. If all they remember is your rage you have failed.

What are your thoughts?